For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
