after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
