..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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