I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
