Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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