I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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