I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
