hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
