Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
