I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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