I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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