so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize