never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize