I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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