His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
