Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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