I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
