i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
