im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
