he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Life without a bra equals bliss.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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