you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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