Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
