Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
