could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
