Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
