I don't usually arrange sex via text message
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Buhtt sex?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
