I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
