Non-Jews are for practice
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
