Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
