What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
