I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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