On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
