I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
