porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
