My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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