hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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