Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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