im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
