yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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