Me. At least after what I've been through.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize