I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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