So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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