I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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