How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
