Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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