I want to stick my p in your. b.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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