I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
