I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
