I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You are a genius and a whore.
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