There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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