she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
