And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
