it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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