Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
