He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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