haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
