She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize