That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
