who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
