get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
