this just has baby written all over it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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