I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
