Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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