look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
