babies were throwing up all over the place
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
