...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
